Loser Takes It

My gaze sets the scene

for your worries,

a man who can't be his age, all his

intellect trapped in cut to shape,

pressed, somewhat tight apparels of

politeness, good manners,

the mind that holds on to iron bars

and screams for freedom

escapes your eyes.

Had we the time

to enter dingy rooms of nonsense,

to stay long enough to

make some sense of them,

to cross the threshold, break speech-boundaries,

nonstopness of noises in the name

of music,

wild beats like morphine in the veins,

or nerves, or whatever,

artificial colour pools, fake rainbows,

death of drunk paralysis,

had we

the insanity to hold reluctant hands

I see your toenails, painted blue

so strange, your feet

look blue too

from nine-inch style-burden,

but they speak to me better

than your feigned freshness

of smiles, thoughts, fancies

They have a new product

that reduces the smell of a corpse

that rises from my thoughts,

a new drug which makes one

think less, and be a peacock

They used to check the books

I carried, now I carry none,

but they inspect my Notebook now,

everywhere - they have no doubt

in my power to corrupt

people like them,

all happy peacocks

Don't look into my eyes,

they will drain your dreams

Oh, I wish I had a glimpse of you

before you came out, to make sure

that you were the you I saw

on the picture the agent gave me,

a glossy picture, all colours,

and eyes hidden in thick make-up,

but I know now that you are you,

I just need to avoid your eyes

Just be with me, I paid for this,

and know how to get more than

what you can give, stay,

don't cross the threshold,

don't spill the rainbows out of your tears,

I can't take too much reality,

let me be a freak, for a day

or two,

can't you see my despair?